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When discussing the subject of intelligence and mental abilities, the focus is often on the percentage of intelligence known as IQ, which is the intelligence with which an individual is often born and is due in large part to genes. However, there is another type of intelligence, which is social intelligence. So what is this intelligence? What are its characteristics, and can you develop them?
What is social intelligence?
The theory of social intelligence was put forward for the first time in 1920 by the American psychologist Edward Thorndike, during which he defined social intelligence as “the ability to understand and manage men and women, old and young, to act wisely in the context of human relations.” This scientist also showed that social intelligence is not innate but rather acquired. No one is born socially intelligent, but rather acquires a set of skills that contribute to enhancing and developing his social intelligence.
People with social intelligence can sense the feelings of others and have an intuitive ability that enables them to speak spontaneously and smoothly in various social situations. You might think that such people have advanced social skills, but they are actually socially intelligent.
What are the signs of social intelligence?
Socially intelligent individuals have a set of traits and characteristics that help them communicate efficiently with others. The following are the most important of these traits:
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1- Listening skills
The socially intelligent person does not only listen for the sake of responding, but rather listens to others and gives them his full attention. These speakers proceed after they feel that this person has truly understood them and that a hidden bond of love and respect has developed between them and him.
2- Dialogue skills
Have you ever seen someone grab the attention of everyone present in the venue? These people are likely to have high social intelligence and advanced conversational skills. They are good at choosing their words, have an appropriate sense of humor, and remember small details about others, which makes conversations with them meaningful and valuable.
3- Reputation management
Socially intelligent people take into account the impressions they form of others around them, which is one of the most complex features of social intelligence. The individual must create a thoughtful impression of the other party in front of him while making sure that it is as close to reality as possible.
4- Lack of argument
If you see someone interrupting, contradicting, and opposing others in every session, they probably lack social intelligence. The socially intelligent person is well aware that proving a point by making someone else feel bad is not right. Instead, we find that he listens to others with an open mind, even if his opinion does not align with theirs.
How can you develop your social intelligence?
At a time when some people can develop their social intelligence without making any effort, we find that others need training and exercise in order to be able to acquire and develop this skill. If you are from the second group, here are several strategies that will help you build your social skills and develop your social intelligence.
1. Pay attention to your surroundings.
Socially intelligent people are observant and pay attention to subtle and hidden details in the people around them. So start observing your surroundings, people, and things, and develop the skill of remembering small and subtle details about others.
2. Develop your emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence, in particular, is about dealing with your own emotions and managing them efficiently, as the more you become able to understand your own feelings, the more you will be able to understand the feelings of others as well. Emotionally intelligent people are able to control negative emotions such as anger and frustration when they are in social situations, which makes them more socially intelligent as well.
3. Respect different cultures.
Before you do, seek to understand the cultural differences between people and countries so that you can gain a better awareness of them. Although the majority of people learn social skills from their families or friends, socially intelligent people recognize that others may have different opinions and habits depending on their cultural backgrounds and upbringing.
4. Practice your listening skills.
In order to develop your social intelligence, be sure to develop your communication skills, the most important of which are active listening skills. Do not interrupt others in their speech, and take the time to think about what someone says before you respond to him. Pay attention to your speaker’s tone to determine what he truly means by his words.
5- Appreciate the people who are important to you.
Socially intelligent people have deep, strong relationships that are meaningful to them. If you want to develop your social intelligence, be sure to appreciate others who you hold dear. Show concern for the feelings of your partner, close friends, or co-workers. The more you ignore the people closest to you, the more you miss opportunities for effective communication with them, which is not what anyone with high social intelligence does.
6- Learn the arts of conflict resolution.
Social relations must witness some disagreements and conflicts, as they are inevitable in any social environment. And if not properly resolved, these differences may lead to the destruction of relationships and cut them off forever.
Learn techniques for resolving conflicts in healthy ways and train yourself to do so. Listen to all conflicting parties and be neutral in disagreements that do not concern you personally. Choose your words carefully and initiate reconciliation, as all these steps guarantee that you will acquire strong social skills.
Social intelligence isn’t easy to master; if that were the case, we wouldn’t find any embarrassments in social situations. However, these skills contribute to making you more confident and able to form successful new relationships.
So study the social situations around you and watch what others do. Identify the mistakes you want to avoid, and then go ahead and apply what you learned in the next situation that confronts you. Do not despair if you fail; failure is the fastest way to learn and gain experience.
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