Dialogue with others is key to developing good relationships, whether at work, college, or home. In fact, mastering dialogue with others is a true art, especially when it involves talking to different people in different social groups and environments. If you want to improve your personal or professional relationships with others, mastering the art of dialogue should be your highest priority.
What is the art of dialogue?
There is no doubt that we have all met people who had a great gift for easily and completely managing the conversation with others and wished that we had the same skills when speaking with them.In fact, being a good communicator and being able to manage a conversation smoothly to reach certain goals and even get others to listen to you is undoubtedly one of the best skills anyone could wish they had.
Dialogue is a form of communication, and it may be casual or formal depending on its purpose. We usually enter into conversations to have fun sharing with others, to meet new people, learn more information, or enjoy social interactions. Therefore, mastering the art of dialogue is one of the most important factors that lead to a prosperous and successful life, as many social studies have proven that people who excel in the art of dialogue are the most successful people, whether on a personal or professional level.
The art of successful dialogue
Dialogue management is an essential social skill, but did you know it can also be considered an art? The art of dialogue is about going beyond good communication and reaching mastery. Mastering the art of dialogue not only means that you have become good at achieving your goals through talking, but also that you have become remarkably interesting and your speech is free of any boredom or repetition.
You can get so high on the art of conversation that people will tell you they had a great time talking to you, even if it was professional; they will tell you that it was productive and constructive. How do you succeed in reaching this high level in the art of dialogue?
How do I master the art of dialogue?
While there are those who were born with this talent (successful elaborate dialogue), some may need practice and training to develop it, which is not impossible, but you can acquire this skill in a short time if you adhere to the following tips:
1. Choose your words well.
Speech-picking here is not about avoiding any swear words, which is not at all about that, but about refining the ideas you convey. Refining the ideas you talk about means getting rid of unnecessary and unwanted details. So, when you are expressing yourself, explaining your point of view, getting into a discussion, or even telling a story, share only the important details and avoid lengthening your conversation with pointless sentences.
This advice is especially important if you are speaking in a group, as you have limited time to express your thoughts. So choosing your words carefully will make a huge difference in how you are perceived and how much you influence others, since that way you will be less of a distraction to them because you are only expressing what is necessary.
This way, people have more time and energy to process and consider your ideas rather than wasting that energy refining all the unnecessary details. As we all notice, smart and successful people can say a lot of things in a shorter period of time simply because they have shortened the way they share their thoughts. Once you start doing this, you will be able to connect with more people faster, have more satisfying and productive conversations, and eventually find that you have mastered the art of dialogue.
2. Assume that you do not understand the other person.
One of the best ways to have a constructive and positive conversation is to always try to understand the other person and what’s going on in their head. It’s a good idea to ask questions, paraphrase them, and then tell the person you’re talking to something related to what they said, so you can prove that you understood what they said. Here’s a simple trick to help you reach an advanced level of dialogue art: Suppose you don’t fully understand what the speaker is saying! Imagine that what this person is telling you is a riddle that you need to decipher. Be curious (without being annoying), open-minded, and detail-oriented…
When you always think that you understand and know what other people are talking about, you will escape the details of their conversations and only see what is on the surface, without having the opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level and discover the wonderful aspects of their personalities. When you assume you don’t understand what other people are saying, you force your mind to find hidden treasures in their words. This could be great details about a story the speaker is telling, unique ideas, solutions to a problem, or anything the other person is sharing with you.
3. Don’t be overly formal.
When people socialize, the best thing they can do to melt the ice is to be less formal and be as natural as possible. So the lesson here is to be less formal while remaining courteous and professional when you need to be. Try to show from time to time that you can be formal if you want, and thus give the impression to others that you have this aspect of your personality and that you can use it whenever you want, when situations call for it.
The effect of this simple step is to make people feel comfortable with you, and then it will be easier for you to manage the conversation and convince them of anything you want or communicate any idea you want to clarify, and at the same time they will respect you because they know that you know how to deal formally in situations where it is necessary.
In short, it’s great to be fun and easygoing so people can let their guard down while listening to you, but it’s also important to be serious when it’s called for. You can apply this advice from time to time, and it will have a long-term effect on your reputation among co-workers and friends and on your ability to master the art of conversation.
4. Adding enthusiasm to the dialogue
If you want to master the art of dialogue, you need to show enthusiasm for that dialogue even when there is no obvious reason to feel that way.
A question may come to your mind, “Excited about what?” The answer to this question is that you do not have to be excited about a particular thing, but rather it is all about the dialogue itself. Show some passion, energy, and interest in your speech, and you will see how well the conversation goes and is fruitful. When you start talking to someone, you need to show more optimism.
This will make a significant difference in how others perceive you and how you perceive others.People with average dialogue skills are not proactive, irresponsible, or able to bring spirit to dialogue. They will be excited if something excites them; if the conversation becomes boring, they will become bored and act accordingly.Therefore, do not be reactive but be proactive, take responsibility for leading the dialogue, and bring enthusiasm and optimism to the dialogue to make it interesting and fruitful.
5. Rehearse the dialogue beforehand.
Perhaps I was previously impressed by some people who are skilled in speaking and the art of dialogue and marveled at their fluency in speech and their skill in managing dialogue and how they always knew how to say the right thing at the right time. What you may not know is that most of the things you hear from these people have already been said to others dozens of times before. No doubt they’ve had some failed attempts to get to this point of mastery, and now they can talk and move forward with ease. In other words, they practiced these methods with many people until they mastered them completely. So, if you want to master the art of dialogue, you have to know that it is okay to practice until you reach the required level. When you have an idea, quickly imagine how you can share it with others. Work out in your mind how you can say it convincingly and allow others to enjoy it as much as you do.
What you need to realize is that your mind organizes thoughts in a way that is very different from how you should express those thoughts to others. Somehow, you need to translate the idea in your mind into the idea that other people will hear, and that definitely only comes with practice. For example, the next time you hear a great idea from a podcast or documentary, imagine yourself telling others about it. Even if you do it just for fun, it will go a long way in preparing you to express your ideas with complete flexibility and manage dialogue with others effectively.
6. Emphasize points of similarity between yourself and others.
There is a human nature that has been proven and confirmed by hundreds of studies in psychology, and that is that we like people who are similar to us. In almost every way imaginable, from the nature of the ideas being discussed to the choice of words, emphasizing similarity improves social relationships. When salespeople were asked to imitate the body language of the listeners, the listeners rarely noticed, but sales increased by 20%.
In an experiment conducted on a group of customers, a team of sales representatives shared some personal ideas that agreed with the customers’ ideas while promoting their products, while another team only promoted the same products without addressing any side issues. Customers welcomed the first team and rated them as friendlier as well as more interesting, honest, and persuasive, so the first team got more interest in their products.
In short, if you want to have a successful conversation, the best thing you can do is show your similarities with the listener.
7. Add some humor to your speech.
Part of the art of dialogue is the ability to defuse tension and make things less serious without diminishing the importance of dialogue; only great speakers know how to do that. This is more important than people think. Humor in the conversation will not diminish your prestige; on the contrary, it will indicate that you have had many interesting and interesting conversations and that you have good social skills, and it will contribute more to melting the ice between you and the person with whom you are conversing.
8. Listen with focus and without interruption.
While you may strive to achieve the main purpose of your conversation, be sure to conduct a two-way conversation and give the other person a chance to speak. Give the person you’re talking to time to respond and ask any questions they may have, and show interest in what they have to say. For example, you can use phrases like “good,” “yes, I understand,” “that’s right,” “I see that,” “can you tell me more about that?” etc.
And always remember: in order to have a successful dialogue, listen to understand, not to respond! There is a big difference between the two cases.
The art of dialogue book
The previous points will put you on the path that helps you conduct successful and elaborate dialogues, but… there is always room for further development, which will help you achieve the goals outlined in “The Art of Dialogue” by Rosalie Maggio. Step by step, The Art of Dialogue will show you how to speak skillfully with other people, whether at home or at work, on the phone or on the street. After reading this book, you will be able to:
- Overcoming the most common barriers to good dialogue as well as learning how to break the silence and keep the dialogue going.
- Learn about the different types of dialogue, how they work, and what topics and language are appropriate for each type.
- Be familiar with simple ways to communicate your speech, including speaking clearly and audibly, listening well, and using nonverbal communication.
- Learn how to have a conversation in difficult situations, including how to manage disagreement and how to talk to those in power or people you find difficult to talk to.
- How to harness dialogue to form relationships, make deals, chat with people, learn, influence, and persuade.
One bad dialogue can cost you a lot in your professional or personal life, and on the contrary, a good dialogue can play an important role in advancing your life and achieving special opportunities for you. Therefore, it is important to strive to develop your dialogue and discussion skills and to work to enhance them at all times. The previous tips will undoubtedly help you in this matter, as will the book The Art of Dialogue, and you can also join online courses and courses specializing in this field.
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