Who among us can live without being criticized? Of course, to live without being criticized is to say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing! Despite our awareness of this fact, very few have the skills to respond to criticism and deal with this matter efficiently, which guarantees them continuous progress and development. In this article, we will learn about three main types of criticism and how to deal with them, in addition to five ways in which you can respond to criticism directed at you.
What are the types of criticism?
Cash can be divided into three main types as follows:
1- Irrelevant criticism
Perhaps this type of criticism is the most widespread, as some do not care about anything other than criticizing everyone and everything, so we find them throwing their comments at others, which are sometimes not related to the current situation. As if one of them criticizes his coworker’s clothes after he was asked to give him feedback on the work he completed.This kind of criticism does not deserve to be answered or given any importance. In fact, ignoring such criticism is the best way to overcome it.
2- Destructive criticism
This type of criticism comes in the form of a direct attack on the person and his personality, as the critic often uses frustrating phrases that devalue the individual and kill his personality.
“You are stupid and incompetent!” “You are selfish and arrogant!” All of these phrases refer to destructive criticism, so if you encounter such criticism, make sure that there is something wrong with the criticisms and that there is something wrong with the person who directs it.A truly informed person never resorts to harsh words with the intention of criticism. In such situations, you must not take these criticisms seriously and have enough confidence to ignore them without allowing them to affect you.
3- Constructive criticism
It is criticism that aims to correct a mistake or defect and provides a new learning experience for the person. Effective constructive criticism uses what is known as the “sandwich technique”, a technique in which the content of the criticism to be delivered is sandwiched between two positive statements, just as the meat is placed between the two pieces of bread in a sandwich. For example, constructive criticism can come in the form of a phrase like this:
“I really appreciate how hard you work and how fast it gets done, but I think you should be more careful; you forgot to send me the required file with the email, and I made some mistakes in the data collection process, but all in all, thank you for your efforts.” This type of criticism contributes to the development of the individual and helps him learn faster, so it must be accepted in a sporting spirit and one must strive to benefit from it.
5 effective ways to deal with criticism
Here are five effective ways to help you get the most out of the constructive criticism you may receive throughout your academic and professional career.
1- Always be ready to criticize.
As we mentioned at the beginning of our article, our lives are not devoid of criticism, and we must be exposed to it at some stage in our lives. So, as with the various situations around you, prepare yourself to receive some negative feedback about your performance, whether at work, home, or otherwise. This is done by following the following steps:
- Relive a similar situation in the past when you were criticized.
- Remember how you felt then.
- Imagine if you had the ability to go back to that particular situation. How would you handle it this time?
- Re-imagine the situation several times in your head in such a way as to ensure that you get the result you want.
Note: You can also enlist the assistance of a close friend to re-enact a previous situation or imagine new criticism situations and practice responding positively to them.
2- Avoid getting carried away with your feelings.
Feelings often precede thinking. As soon as someone receives criticism, he will feel that he is being attacked, and strong feelings will rush inside him, which may push him to act without thinking, which often causes regret.
The good thing is that these feelings fade away as soon as the mind takes over, so if you feel such strong feelings, give yourself some time before you react. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Or do something distracting. For the time being, until your feelings calm down, you should gather your thoughts, and then you can give a response that will achieve satisfactory results for you.
3- Repeat the phrases you heard.
One of the best ways to respond to criticism is to repeat the criticism you heard using your own words. That is because the person who criticized you will expect you to get excited or deny what he said to you and prepare himself to defend his point of view, but if you start talking by repeating the sentence or phrase he said, then you contribute to the erosion of these defenses and make him more receptive to your response and your opinion about what he said.
4- Get over your feeling of having to stand up for yourself.
When we feel under attack, whether it is a physical attack with weapons or a verbal attack with words, the mind immediately takes the initiative to defend itself and respond to this attack with the same force, but if you train yourself to only listen, you will have acquired a powerful tool that will help you overcome the most difficult situations.and accept criticism with sportsmanship. Listening makes the other party feel more at ease and open to hearing you and understanding your perspective on what they said to you.
5- Discuss with respect.
Although you may disagree with the criticism directed at you by a certain person, you can nevertheless make this situation positive for both of you. For example, you can acknowledge and accept that the person in front of you has a different point of view than yours, and thus you avoid falling into the trap of trying to prove that one of you is right and the other is wrong.
By agreeing that you both have different points of view, you can move the discussion forward and reach a point of convergence. If you agree with the other person after the discussion, you may reach a stage where you accept his opinion and thank him for it; if you do not, then you can express your opinion, clarify your point of view, and even suggest other solutions to deal with the situation or ask for help if you feel the need for that.
However, what is important above all is to maintain mutual respect during the discussion, as it is the basis of all positive and constructive communication, and its loss means the loss of the desired benefit from this communication and its loss.
Always remember that criticism does not always aim to attack and frustrate you; perhaps the reason behind it is to help you grow and develop in your work and life. Every time you are exposed to criticism, start by defining its type, and after making sure that it is constructive criticism, follow the previous five steps to get the most benefit from it. To destroy you is nothing but a useless, losing battle.
Read also: Problem solving steps | How do I solve my problems?
